The Case of the Genius Janitor
by MidnightBlue88
Summary: After witnessing some suspicious activity, the BC starts spying on Carl in an effort to find out how he went from Man of the Year to janitor. Includes bumbling detective work, breaking and entering, making out in the bushes, and faulty flashlights.
1. Man of the Year

**Disclaimer:** No, I am not John Hughes and I'm not making any money from this story.

**Rating: **T, for language and mild adult situations.

**Summary: **After witnessing some suspicious activity, the BC starts spying on Carl in an effort to find out how he went from Man of the Year to janitor. Includes bumbling detective work, breaking and entering, making out in the bushes, and faulty flashlights.

**A/N:** I am writing this story because I wanted to do something in a genre that hasn't been used in this fandom: mystery. This story isn't really going to explore the deep and complex emotions that tie our Fab Five together. Mostly, it's just about what would happen if the BC decided to solve a mystery together (and get into a lot of trouble doing it). So, no, this story will not change your life or make you a better person. Hopefully, it will make you laugh, though. Also, keep in mind that you aren't going to get all of the information at once. If something confuses you, feel free to tell me, but also know that it will probably be explained in future chapters. After all, it is a mystery, so the BC is probably just as confused as you are. ;)

Okay, I think I've babbled enough. Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

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**Chapter One: Man of the Year**

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October, 1984

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"So, if we do our best and sell as much as we possibly can, we'll have enough money for the end of year banquet." Mr. Gray smiled kindly at the small group of students that had gathered at the front of his classroom. "Any questions?"

No one said anything.

Mr. Gray nodded. "Alright, everyone take a catalog and a sales sheet. If you have any questions, let me know. And thanks for coming."

Brian Johnson waited until most of the other members of the Physics Club had taken their catalogs, then stepped forward to get his. A quick glance at the front cover told him all that he needed to know. They were selling wrapping paper again…for the fourth year in a row.

Brian sighed and exited the classroom, heading down the hallway towards the cafeteria. When he arrived in the lunchroom, he saw that the others were already sitting at their usual table. He tossed his bag under the table and plopped down on the bench.

Claire frowned at him from across the table. "What's wrong?"

Brian sighed. "Nothing. Does anybody want to buy some wrapping paper?"

Next to him, Andy cocked an eyebrow. "Huh?" he asked, the message coming out garbled due to the fact that his mouth was full of half-chewed cookies.

Brian pulled open the catalog and held it up so that everyone could see it. "The Physics Club is having a fundraiser to raise money for the end of year banquet. We're selling wrapping paper again this year, and I--"

"What the fuck is this?" Bender grabbed the catalog from Brian's hand and brought it close to his face so that he could see. "Is that a boob?"

Claire grabbed the book from his hand. "It's a _balloon_. Stop being so perverted." She handed the catalog back to Brian, who accepted it gratefully.

"Looked like a boob to me," said Bender, taking a grape from a pile on top of Allison's lunch bag. Allison didn't even flinch, just pushed the sack away from her so that Bender could take some more. Claire rolled her eyes and went back to her chicken salad.

Brian paused for a moment, enjoying the silence as he watched his friends eat. It hadn't always been this easy between them. After that first detention, all five members of the Breakfast Club returned to school on Monday with high hopes and big plans, determined to see their new friendships through to the end. They soon learned that nothing is that easy. After catching Claire and Bender in a compromising position after school one day, some of Claire's friends decided that she'd gone crazy and cut her off from the group. Andy's teammates didn't take too kindly to his newfound friendship with Bender, and Andy didn't take too kindly to his friends' nasty comments about Allison. Even Brian lost a few of his friends after they found out about his friendship with Andy, whom most of them considered a jerk. In the end, the only person who didn't lose anyone was Allison, who had no one to begin with.

By the end of the school year, most of the controversy had calmed down, and Claire, Andy and Brian were able to piece together some of the relationships they had lost after detention. But some things would never be the same, and the five of them found that they were more comfortable hanging out with one another than anyone else. When school started up again in September, they immediately fell in together again. The rest of the school still didn't know quite what to make of them, but then again, neither did the Breakfast Club.

"So, when is this banquet?" asked Andy, breaking into Brian's thoughts.

Brian looked up. "Oh, it's not until May."

Andy frowned and pulled out one of his ham and cheese sandwiches. "Why are you guys starting so early then?"

Brian sighed. "We have to make sure that we make enough money. If we don't raise enough during this fundraiser, we'll have to have another one in January. Two years ago we didn't earn enough and had to hold the banquet in the school gymnasium."

"School gymnasium?"

All five teenagers looked up to see Carl, one of the school janitors, standing at the head of the table, an industrial size broom in one hand and a broad grin on his face. "You can't have it in the school gymnasium," he said, stepping closer to the table. "You might as well stamp the word 'Loser' on your forehead now and save yourself the trouble later on."

Brian sank a little lower in his seat, dejected.

Carl took the catalog from the table and started flipping through it. "How much?"

Brian sighed. "Three dollars a roll."

Carl whistled. "Damn, that's expensive. I remember when they were a buck fifty each, and they threw in the ribbon for free."

"I didn't know they had wrapping paper during the Dark Ages," said Bender.

Carl looked up from the book, eyebrow cocked in surprise. "Are you still in school, John? I figured you'd be in prison by now, servin' time for knockin' over the 7-11 on Bushley Avenue."

Bender smirked. "Actually, it was the Shell station on the boulevard, and I'm out on parole."

"That's too bad," said Carl, reaching into his pocket for a pen. He glanced at the catalog, then wrote something on Brian's sales sheet. "Get me a roll of F-11. You can't go wrong with Christmas trees."

"I don't know," said Bender. "Did you see that balloon paper on the first page? That's pr--OW!" he exclaimed, turning to glare at Claire. "What the hell was that for?"

Carl ignored Bender and returned to Brian his catalog and sales sheet. "I pay now or later?"

"When you pick it up." Brian smiled. "Thanks, Carl."

"No problem." Without saying anything else, Carl took his broom and moved along to the next table.

Brian waited until Carl was out of earshot before he spoke again. "Do you guys ever wonder why he works here?" he asked tentatively.

Andy looked up from his sandwich. "No. Why?"

Brian shrugged. "I don't know. I just can't imagine how someone could go from being Man of the Year to high school janitor. It just doesn't fit."

"Man of the Year?" Andy asked, swallowing a piece of lunchmeat. "Here at Shermer?"

Brian nodded. "His picture is in the awards display by the front entrance. You guys haven't ever noticed it?"

Claire shook her head. "I never go over there."

"Well, I do, but I never saw Carl's picture," said Andy. "What year was it?"

Brian shrugged. "I don't remember."

"Let's go check it out," said Bender. He started to stand up from the table, but Claire pulled him back down so that he was sitting next to her again.

"The lunch period isn't over yet," she said, rolling her eyes.

Bender cocked an eyebrow. "Since when are you such a stickler for the rules? Last Thursday, we didn't even show up for lunch, remember? We were in the--"

"Alright!" Claire shouted, her face flushing with embarrassment. "I just meant that maybe we should wait for everyone to finish their lunches."

Allison tossed a half-eaten bag of grapes in Bender's direction, then looked over at Claire. "I'm done."

Bender grabbed the bag and tipped an imaginary hat in Allison's direction. "And I'm portable."

Brian looked his untouched peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then slipped it back into its sack. "I'm not that hungry anyway."

Claire sighed. "Yeah, me neither."

Everyone turned to look at Andy.

Andy swallowed a bite of chocolate chip cookie and scowled. "What, I can't even finish my lunch now?"

"Don't be such a crybaby, Sporto," said Bender, rising from his seat. "Besides, you've already eaten enough to feed a small horse."

Andy rolled his eyes and stuffed the rest of his sandwich into his lunch sack. Claire, Brian, and Allison followed suit, and soon all five of them were walking down the hall towards the school's front entrance.

"Here," said Brian, walking up to the Man of the Year display case. "1964."

The others crowded around him to get a better look. For a moment everyone was silent.

"That is the ugliest fuckin' suit I have ever seen in my life," Bender said finally.

For once, no one corrected him. Brian pointed at the nameplate. "Carl Reed. I never knew his last name." He paused thoughtfully. "I wonder how he got from Man of the Year to this."

"What's so special about Man of the Year anyway?" asked Allison, who was standing half a step behind Andy, chewing on her fingernails. "It's just a popularity contest."

Andy shook his head. "No, they count grades, too. It's about being well rounded."

"I know what happened," said Bender. "I'll bet he got busted for somethin' big and had to drop out of school. You know, drugs, gambling, women."

"Maybe he didn't go to college," said Allison.

"Everyone goes to college," Brian responded.

Allison cocked an eyebrow in challenge. "_I'm_ not going."

"Maybe he got drafted. Didn't the Vietnam War start during the sixties?" asked Claire.

Brian paused thoughtfully. "Well, sort of. It's hard to say when the war started, you know? After the Gulf of Tonkin Incident in 1968, President Johnson--"

"I still think it was a girl," interrupted Bender. "Or drugs. Maybe both."

Claire scoffed. "Carl didn't do drugs."

Bender crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh, yeah? And how do you know?"

She paused uncomfortably. "He doesn't look like the type that would do drugs."

Bender cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really? And what exactly does the drug-using type look like, Claire?" Claire just glared at him, and he smirked. "I think he got to college, hit the bottle, hit the pipe, got locked away for a while…"

"Locked away?" Claire exclaimed. "You mean like prison?"

Bender shrugged. "It happens to the best of us."

Andy rolled his eyes. "If he was in prison, he wouldn't be able to work in a school." When no one else said anything, he went on. "You know, with kids."

"So, what do you think really happened?" Brian asked, looking back at the picture again.

"Who cares?" Andy responded.

"I care," Brian said quietly.

"Well, even if we did want to know, how would we find out?" asked Claire. "It's not like we're going to go up and ask him."

Brian paused thoughtfully. "Well, we could do some research, I guess. I'm sure the library has newspaper archives and old yearbooks we could look at."

Andy frowned. "That's not going to tell us anything."

"Sure it will," Brian said. "I mean, maybe not everything, but it's a start."

"We could follow him."

Everyone turned to look at Allison, who was still standing behind Andy and Bender, biting her thumbnail.

"Follow him?" asked Brian. "You mean like--"

"Yes!" Bender exclaimed. "Like on _Magnum_. We'll wait until he's left work, and then we'll follow him in Sporto's Bronco. We can--"

"We're not going to _follow_ him!" Claire exclaimed, eyes wide with disbelief.

"We're not taking _my_ car," said Andy.

"I want to go," Allison interjected.

Andy turned to scowl at her. Allison just scowled back at him.

"Isn't that illegal?" asked Brian.

Bender shook his head. "They do it all the time on cop shows."

"Yes, but those are _cop_ shows," Brian pointed out. When Bender didn't respond, he went on. "They're _cops_. They can do that sort of thing."

Bender shrugged. "Whatever. I say we do it."

"I don't," said Claire.

"Fine, don't come. More room for me," said Bender. "Does your car have a radio, Sporto? Because it's going to be pretty boring if we're just sitting there for--"

"I didn't say we could use my car," Andy interrupted.

"Well, what are we going to use then, Brian's ten-speed?"

"I think this is a bad idea," said Claire.

"Suggestion noted," said Bender. "Sporto?"

Andy paused, then sighed angrily. "Fine."

Bender grinned and turned to Brian. "Brainiac?"

Brian nodded. "I'm in."

Bender glanced over at Allison, who managed a brief nod. Everyone turned to look at Claire.

Claire glared at Bender. "You're such an asshole."

Bender grinned. "Good, we're all in. Sporto, are you going to finish those chocolate chip cookies? 'Cause I'm fuckin' starving."

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A/N: Just because I know I'll get questions about it, I'll answer it now: no, Bender didn't really get arrested for robbing a gas station. He and Carl were just making fun of one another.

Please review!


	2. Are You Sure This Isn't Illegal?

A/N: There was some question about Claire's age. In the film, Bender refers to her as the "Prom Queen", but the prom queen isn't elected until May, so there's no way that she could have been Prom Queen yet. It's true that he could have been referring to the fact that she was a candidate, but in my opinion it's more likely that he was just making fun of her, just like he was when he mentioned her "drunk mother in the Caribbean". So, Claire's age is indeterminable. For my intents and purposes, everyone in the story is either a junior or senior at this point.

Also, keep in mind that all of this is happening nearly seven months after the first detention, so their characters have changed a little bit to adapt to their circumstances. I imagine that they continue to fight a lot, but it's unrealistic to assume that they would have the energy to be friends if they did nothing _but_ fight. I think they would have gotten to know one another and mellowed a little bit after all this time.

This story is going to focus primarily on Brian, and I have my reasons for that, so you'll just have to trust me. The others will have lots of action as well, so don't worry. Enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter Two: Are You _Sure_ This Isn't Illegal?

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After school on Wednesday, the five members of the Breakfast Club gathered in the library to do a little bit of research while they waited for Carl to finish up work for the day. Brian, who was used to seeing him after Physics Club meetings in the afternoons, knew that he would be around until at least four o'clock, if not later.

"That gives us…" Brian glanced at his watch. "Almost one hour."

"So, what are we looking for?" asked Claire.

Brian shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted, handing Claire a yearbook marked '1963-1964'. "I guess we'll know when we find it."

Claire nodded and opened the yearbook. Allison pulled up a chair beside her, and the girls started flipping through the pages.

"What is this?" asked Andy, who was sitting in the seat next to Brian's.

Brian opened the large, leather book and started flipping pages. "It's archive of the student newspaper for the 1963 to 1964 school year. It has every issue they printed that year. I was thinking there might be an article on him, like from when he won Man of the Year or something."

Andy nodded. "Okay."

Brian started flipping through the pages, scanning the headlines for anything that might be relevant to their search. A few minutes passed, and no one spoke. The only sound came from Bender, who was leaning back in his chair a few feet away, fiddling with a metal lighter, snapping it open and closed.

"Wow," Claire said finally. "Look at this."

Everyone looked up to see a full page picture of Carl, with the words "Man of the Year" written above it. The photo was very similar to the one in the trophy case, but this time he wasn't wearing a suit, just a button-down shirt and tie.

"He looked so young," said Claire.

Bender smirked. "Young?"

Claire narrowed her eyes. "Yes, that's what I said."

Bender cocked an eyebrow. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, Claire?"

Claire's face flushed with embarrassment. "I just said that--"

"Do you think Carl's a stud? Do you want to--"

Claire slammed the book shut. "Shut up!" she exclaimed.

"Shhhh!"

Everyone turned to see Mrs. Lee, the librarian, sitting at her desk, one finger poised above her lips. "Please use your indoor voices!" she hissed.

Bender nodded. "Yes, ma'am," he whispered loudly. "We will."

The older woman narrowed her eyes at him, but didn't say anything else.

"Here's something," said Brian, pointing to the book of newspapers in front of him. "It's about 'Man of the Year'."

"What does it say?" asked Claire.

Brian scanned the article, looking for pieces of information that would be valuable to their search. "It says he was valedictorian," he said finally without looking up. "Valedictorian?" Andy echoed, pulling the book closer so that he could get a better look. "Seriously?"

Brian pointed to the corresponding piece of text. "And officer of lots of clubs."

"What clubs?" asked Allison.

"It doesn't say," Brian answered.

Claire immediately started flipping through the yearbook. "It'll be in here. They always list clubs and honors in the yearbook." She stopped at a page at the back of the book and smiled. "Here. It says he was on the student council. He was vice president of the student body as a senior!" she exclaimed, looking up at the others. "Do you realize how popular you have to be to become vice president?"

Bender rolled his eyes. "No, Claire, why don't you enlighten us?"

Claire just glared at him. "Why don't _you _stop making fun of everything I say?"

Bender frowned and flicked on his lighter, running his fingers swiftly through the flames. "Where's the fun in that?"

Brian rolled his eyes. "Can we just focus, guys? What else does it say, Claire?"

Claire continued glaring at John for a couple of seconds, then looked back at the yearbook, jaw still locked in anger. "He played football. All four years."

"First string or second string?" Andy asked.

"Um…first. He was running back."

Andy's eyes widened. "Seriously? First string running back? Do you realize how good you have to be to--"

"Not you, too, Sporto," said Bender, pulling his hand away from the lighter. "He's not a god, you know. He's a janitor."

"He wasn't always a janitor," Brian pointed out. "Keep reading," he said to Claire.

Claire looked back at the yearbook. "Um…it says that he was vice president of the Archery Club, president of the--"

"Archery Club?" Bender echoed as he started rummaging around in his jacket pocket. "As in Robin Hood?"

"Or Green Arrow," added Andy.

Brian's eyes widened, and he glanced over at the jock. "I love that comic book! Remember the one where Ollie found that street thug robbing that old lady and he--"

"Hey, nerd!" Bender called out, waving his hand in front of Brian's face. Brian stopped talking and looked over at him, startled.

"Sorry," he muttered. "It's a good comic book, though."

Bender looked back at Claire. "So, Carl is Robin Hood."

"Or Green Arrow," Brian interjected defiantly.

Bender rolled his eyes, ignoring him. "Did they have to wear tights?" he asked Claire.

She rolled her eyes. "It doesn't say."

"Because maybe this is something that Sporto should look into if this whole wrestling thing doesn't work out. You know, if--"

"You know what, man?" Andy exclaimed. "I'm tired of you bringing this up _everyday_. Tights are part of the uniform!"

"Can we just stop arguing?" Claire asked, massaging her temples with her fingertips. "All of this yelling is giving me a headache."

"It doesn't make it any less gay," said Bender, ignoring Claire completely.

"I am not gay!" Andy shouted.

"It's true, he's not," said Allison bluntly.

"Can we just get back to the yearbook?" Brian asked desperately. "I really want to know what other clubs he was in because maybe--"

"How do we know psycho chick here is telling the truth?" asked Bender. "Maybe she's lying. Maybe you told her to say that so that--"

"She's not lying!" Andy yelled.

"I'm not lying," Allison confirmed, nodding solemnly.

"The yearbook!" Brian exclaimed.

"Does anybody have any Tylenol?" Claire asked.

"Excuse me!"

Everyone turned to see Mrs. Lee standing behind them, staring down at Bender, who was holding a lit cigarette in his hand. He smiled and offered her the pack, but she just pointed towards the library door.

"Out."

* * *

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

The five of them were sitting in Andy's Bronco in the faculty parking lot, waiting for Carl to come out.

"I mean, this is just so absurd," Claire continued. "I can't believe we're sitting here in the cold, waiting for Carl, like we're stalking him or something."

"Well, we kind of _are _stalking him," said Brian. "That's the point."

"Yeah," Claire said, as if she was speaking to a three-year-old. "And it's weird."

Brian shrugged and leaned back in his seat. Next to him, Bender was fiddling with his lighter again, snapping it open and closed. Andy was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he stared blankly out of the window at a group of cars on the other side of the parking lot. After a moment, he sighed. "I thought you said he finished at four," he said to Brian, glancing in the rearview mirror to get a better view of the backseat.

"No, I said he stayed until _at least _four."

Andy sighed angrily. "This is so stupid," he muttered.

"Yeah, really," said Claire, who was leaning against the door in the back seat, staring out of the window.

"Don't you have a radio?" Bender asked.

Andy shook his head. "Broken."

"Heater?" asked Claire.

Andy sighed. "Also broken."

Bender snapped the lighter shut and pulled the pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket again. "Mind if I smoke, Sporto?"

"Yeah, actually, I do," Andy spat out, glaring into the rearview mirror. "I don't want my car smelling like cigarettes."

"I understand," said Bender, putting the pack away again. "Wouldn't want to interfere with the sweaty jockstrap and rotting laundry motif you've got going on."

Andy clenched his jaw angrily, but didn't respond.

Suddenly, Allison, who was sitting next to Andy in the front seat, pointed straight ahead. "There he is."

In unison, everyone leaned forward to get a better look. Carl was dressed in his usual grey jumpsuit, and he was carrying a brown paper sack in one hand, his car keys in the other. He unlocked the driver's side door of a dark brown sedan and slipped into the front seat.

As soon as Carl's car pulled out of the parking space, Andy turned the key to his own ignition and put the Bronco into Drive. He'd just released his foot from the brake when Bender yelled, "What are you doing?"

Andy slammed his foot down on the brake, causing everyone to pitch forward in their seats. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked irritably.

Bender shook his head. "You can't just pull out like that. Haven't you ever seen Magnum? Or MacGyver?"

Andy glared at Bender through the rearview mirror. "Yeah, I have. What's your point?"

Bender rolled his eyes and started speaking very slowly, as if he was explaining the theory of relativity to a four year old. "My _point_ is that you need to be inconspicuous. Inconspicuous means that you don't get noticed, which means that--"

"I know what inconspicuous means, asshole," Andy said angrily.

"Well, then maybe you should put that good knowledge into effect," Bender responded evenly.

"What do you want me to do then?" Andy asked, turning around to face Bender.

"Uh, guys?" Brian asked hesitantly.

"What?" Bender and Andy asked simultaneously.

"He's leaving," Brian said, nodding in the direction of the parking lot's exit.

Andy swore under his breath and released his foot from the brake, aiming the car towards the exit. He pulled out onto the street just as Carl's car turned a corner at the stoplight two blocks away.

"Is this inconspicuous enough for you, Bender?" Andy asked sarcastically, glancing up at the rearview mirror.

Bender smirked. "Perfect, Sporto. You're doing a brilliant job."

Andy just rolled his eyes and looked back at the road. The drove in silence for a few minutes, keeping at least one block between Andy's Bronco and Carl's sedan at all times. About ten minutes after they left the parking lot at school, Carl turned into a older, middle-class neighborhood identified by a large billboard that read "Westing Estates".

"Estates, my ass," Bender observed with a sneer. "Why do they always give neighborhoods such bullshit names anyway? Like 'Magnolia Manors' or 'Lakeside Park'."

"That's my neighborhood," said Claire, turning to frown at him. "What's wrong with 'Lakeside Park'?"

Bender scoffed. "There's no lake."

Claire's brow wrinkled thoughtfully, but she didn't say anything.

"Or a park," Bender added helpfully.

Claire looked a bit dejected. "I think it's a nice name."

"Here it is," said Andy, pulling up to the curb in front of a house with an empty driveway. A few houses down, Carl was getting out of his car, fumbling with his keys. The brown paper bag was jammed under one arm with no apparent concern for the safety of is contents.

The group held its breath as Carl slid the key into the lock and pushed open the door to the modest one-story house with missing shingles and a crooked drain spout. He picked up a newspaper from the front step, then disappeared into the house.

As if on cue, everyone released the breath they hadn't realized they'd been holding. "Well…" said Andy.

There was an awkward pause as everyone kept their eyes glued to the front door of Carl's house, afraid to look away in case they missed something.

"It looks so normal," Brian said finally.

"It looks like my house," said Allison.

There was another moment of silence before Andy spoke. "What do we do now?" he asked.

Brian shrugged. "Make observations."

Andy frowned. "Like what?"

"Like…" Brian craned his neck for a better look at the house. "There aren't any other cars in the driveway."

"So?" asked Andy.

"So, he's not married," Claire answered.

"Maybe his wife isn't home from work yet," Andy countered.

"Yeah, or maybe she's porkin' her boss and she just _told _Carl that she was working so he wouldn't get suspicious," Bender suggested.

Claire made a face. "That's disgusting."

"Sex isn't disgusting, Claire," Bender said patiently, offering her a tender smile. "It's a beautiful thing, a symbolic union between two people who--"

"You're disgusting," Claire interrupted. "Really disgusting."

Brian cleared his throat and pulled a small notebook and a ballpoint pen out of his pocket. "So, uh, there's not another car in the driveway," he reiterated. "Which may mean that he's not married…" He uncapped the pen and opened the notebook to the first blank page. "No car in driveway," he said slowly.

"What's this?" asked Bender, grabbing the notebook from his hand.

"It's, uh, it's a note--wait, be careful, that's…that's my physics assignment," said Brian, attempting to pull the notebook out of Bender's grasp. Bender just brushed his hand away and continued flipping pages.

"'Valedictorian, football all four years, first string running back…'" Bender looked up from the notebook. "Is this your casebook or something?"

Brian felt his cheeks growing warm. "Um, sort of. I just thought--"

"It's just like Scooby Doo," said Bender. "And Matlock."

Brian paused uncertainly. "I don't think Matlock had a notebook."

But Bender wasn't paying attention. "'Bought one roll of F-11, Christmas trees.'" He turned to look at Brian. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Brian grabbed the notebook out of Bender's hand, his cheeks flaming even further. "I just thought it might be important later," he said defensively.

Bender frowned doubtfully. "For what?"

"He's definitely single," Claire interrupted.

Bender turned to look at her. "How do you know?"

Claire smiled triumphantly and nodded in the direction of the house. "Look at his curtains. They're old and ugly. No woman would choose that pattern."

Andy turned back to face her. "That doesn't prove anything. Maybe they don't have enough money to replace them or--"

"No," Claire said firmly. "He's not married."

Andy frowned, but didn't argue. Brian wrote down her observation in his notebook, then looked back up at the others, waiting for further observations.

No one said anything.

Brian cleared his throat. "So, uh, he's not married…and he has ugly curtains."

Claire nodded, but the others remained still.

Brian shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Does anyone have anything else?"

"He needs to mow his lawn," Allison offered.

Brian paused. "Um, okay…"

Claire sighed. "This is stupid. We're not learning anything."

Andy nodded. "She's right. Let's just go home."

"Give up?" Brian asked, suddenly panicked. "But--"

"I have an early practice tomorrow," Andy interrupted.

"And I have homework to finish," Claire added.

Brian looked over at Bender, then Andy. "So, we'll pick it up again tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.

Andy nodded and put the Bronco in Drive. "Sure. Tomorrow."

Brian smiled. "Okay. Tomorrow." Andy released his foot from the brake, and the Bronco took off down the winding street. Brian glanced down at his notebook, which was still sitting in his lap, open to the page of clues. He paused thoughtfully, then wrote, "Needs to mow lawn".

Just in case.

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A/N: Thanks for all of the great reviews. I'm glad that so many people are interested in this story. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. 


	3. Amateurs

A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews! Enjoy this chapter.

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Chapter Three: Amateurs

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On Thursday morning, Brian asked his father to drop him off early at school so that he could "finish studying for his Calculus exam". Of course, there wasn't really a Calculus exam. He just needed to do some more research on Carl without John Bender there to get him kicked out of the library.

When they reached the school, Mr. Johnson pulled up to the front entrance of the building and parked next to the curb. "Good luck on your test," he said, shooting his son an encouraging smile.

Brian nodded, feeling a little bit guilty. "Yeah, thanks. I will." He started to shut the door, then stopped and ducked his head back into the car. "Hey, Dad?"

"Yes?" His father lifted his eyebrows, waiting.

"Did you remember the catalog?" Brian asked hopefully.

"Catalog?" Mr. Johnson paused uncertainly, then broke into a friendly grin. "Catalog. Of course. It's in my briefcase."

Brian nodded. "Okay, thanks."

"Don't you worry. I'm sure I'll sell a bunch of rolls to the guys at the office."

Brian offered a weak smile. "Thanks, Dad."

"No problem. Have a good day, Brian."

Brian gave him a short wave and closed the car door. His father waited until he'd had reached the front steps before he drove away.

When Brian walked into the library, Mrs. Lee looked up from her cataloguing, her eyes narrowing immediately when she realized who he was. Before she could say anything, Brian held up his hands in self defense. "I'm just here to use the archives," he pleaded.

Mrs. Lee paused thoughtfully, then gave him a short nod. "One word and you're out."

Brian nodded emphatically. "Yes, ma'am," he said politely, moving away before she could change her mind.

He started with the yearbook and newspaper archives that he'd been looking at the afternoon before. With all of the fighting, they hadn't made much headway, and being kicked out of the library hadn't helped either. Brian took his casebook out of his pocket and recorded every piece of information that they'd missed the day before.

But it wasn't enough. He had a list of clubs and honors, but no explanation for Carl's fall from grace. After putting away the yearbook and school newspaper archives, Brian headed back to Mrs. Lee's desk, where the older woman was stamping a large stack of books.

"Um, excuse me…Mrs. Lee?"

The woman looked up, her eyes already narrowed in suspicion.

"I, uh…I just had a question." When the librarian didn't stop him, he took it as a good sign and continued. "I was wondering if you had any newspaper archives here…for the city, I mean. Not the school."

Mrs. Lee stared at him for a moment, and he thought that he could see her soften a bit. "No, not really," she said finally.

"Oh," said Brian, disappointed. "Okay, thanks." He started walking away again, back to the table to collect his things.

"Unless it had to do with the school," she added.

Brian stopped, then turned to look back at her. "The school?" he echoed.

Mrs. Lee nodded. "We kept a scrapbook. Every time the school was mentioned, we clipped the article and kept it."

Brian nodded. "Could I see it?"

Mrs. Lee studied him closely for a moment, then sighed warily and stood from her desk. "It's in the back."

Brian nodded. "Thank you, ma'am," he said sincerely.

Mrs. Lee didn't respond, just disappeared into the back room. A few minutes later, she emerged carrying a large leather photo album in her arms. "Here it is," she said, placing the album on the counter. "It's in chronological order, starting in 1961...when I took over," she added.

"Did you put this together?" he asked, flipping to the first page.

Mrs. Lee nodded and reached for her reading glasses, which were dangling from a cord around her neck. Brian continued turning the pages, slowing when he reached the year 1964.

"It was a whole different school when I joined on," said Mrs. Lee. "Students actually came here to read, if you can imagine that."

Brian turned the next page. March, April…

"Now, they just stare at you blankly if you try to recommend a book. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother."

Brian flipped the page to find a picture of Carl smiling at him from the upper-right corner of the newspaper clipping. Brian scanned the title of the article, which read, "Shermer Spotlight: Local Senior Has Big Plans for the Future".

"Bingo," Brian whispered.

* * *

"So, not only was he valedictorian, but he was also in lots of clubs."

Bender reached over and stole a piece of cantaloupe from a plastic container sitting on the top of Claire's lunch box. "Yeah, so?"

"So, he did everything!" Brian exclaimed. "He was valedictorian, played for the football team, was vice president of the archery club--"

"We heard all this yesterday," Bender said shortly, spitting a cantaloupe seed in Allison's direction. Allison cocked an eyebrow, but Bender hardly seemed to notice.

"--and _president_ of the Physics Club," Brian finished, grinning triumphantly.

"So?" Bender asked, taking another piece of fruit from Claire's plate. She pushed the container away from her so that he could reach it easier, and he gave her a quick, sideways glance, but didn't anything.

"So," Brian continued, "he also won the regional science fair competition two years in a row. First place."

Bender spit another seed in Allison's direction, but this time it missed, flying over her shoulder. She continued to stare at him, eyes narrowed.

Brian sighed. "The science fair is a big deal, you know. It's not easy coming up with something original that actually works. I remember last year when Doug Mac…uh, Doug MacKenzie tried to make a replica of Mount St. Helens, and he put too much baking soda in, and he ended up in the hospital because the lava--I mean, it wasn't real lava, it was, uh, baking soda and red food dye and…anyway, it hit him in the eye and he had to wear a patch until it healed."

Bender put another piece of cantaloupe into his mouth, and Allison watched him closely.

Brian frowned. "Isn't anyone listening to me?"

"No," Bender said bluntly, the word coming out muffled because of the cantaloupe in his mouth.

Brian glanced across the table at Andy, who was taking a long sip of milk. "He was president of the Physics Club," he repeated, hoping Andy would understand how important this was.

Andy glanced up, distracted. "Huh?"

Brian sighed. "Never mind," he muttered angrily.

"Yeah, we get it, alright?" said Bender, pausing to spit another seed in Allison's direction. It bounced off of her coat and landed in her lap. "Carl was a dork, just like you. Fascinating."

Brian glared at him for a moment, but Bender was too engrossed in his cantaloupe slices to notice. "That's not all I learned," he protested.

"What else did you find out?" asked Claire.

Brian smiled, satisfied that he'd finally caught someone's interest. "He _did_ go to college."

"Oh, yeah?" asked Andy. "Where to?"

"NYU. He got a scholarship that paid for nearly half of his tuition."

Andy's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Wow."

Brian nodded. "I know. With a degree from NYU, why would he be working here?"

"Maybe he didn't graduate," said Allison.

"Why wouldn't he graduate?" asked Brian.

Allison shrugged, pulling a grape from the plastic bag in her hand. She flopped the grape in her mouth and started chewing, her eyes never leaving Bender's face.

Brian released a frustrated sigh. "Well, I don't know how we're going to find out if he did."

Suddenly, Allison sucked in a deep breath and spit the chewed up grape in Bender's direction. It hit him square in the middle of his forehead and started sliding down his nose.

Bender wiped the grape off of his face and glared at Allison, who was watching him smugly, chewing on another grape. He pointed his finger in her direction as a warning. "That's not funny."

Allison cocked an eyebrow, which suggested that she disagreed. Brian cleared his throat to get her attention, but it didn't work.

Andy swallowed a mouthful of ham and cheese sandwich and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "Don't they have a place on job applications for you to put what degrees you've earned?"

Brian nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think so."

Andy nodded. "So, if he graduated, it would say so on his job application."

Brian frowned. "Where are we going to get that?"

Andy shrugged.

"They keep all of those records in the basement," said Bender, who was wiping his face with one of Claire's fancy napkins. "Right next to the student files."

"How do you know?" asked Brian.

Bender rolled his eyes. "How the hell do you _think_ I know, genius? I've been down there."

"Why?" Brian asked, confused.

"To look at my file," Bender replied, as though it should be obvious.

Brian paused thoughtfully. "So, Carl's application would be down there?"

Bender shrugged. "Probably."

"Well, that's not going to do us any good," said Claire. "What are we going to do, break in and steal it?"

Everyone at the table froze. Brian glanced over at Bender, whose eyebrow was arched in defiance. Then Bender jumped up from his seat and started walking towards the exit, with Brian right on his heels.

It wasn't until they'd reached the stairwell leading down to the basement that Claire, Allison and Andy were able to catch up with them.

"I was being sarcastic!" yelled Claire.

"I wasn't finished with my lunch," Andy grumbled.

"I want to go," said Allison.

Bender held up a hand to silence them. "Can everyone please stop yelling?" He rolled his eyes. "You guys are such amateurs. Really."

Claire glared at him. "We aren't going down there, and we certainly aren't going to steal anything."

"How are we going to solve this case then, Claire?" Bender asked. "By guessing? No, we need evidence."

"Case?" Claire echoed. "Since when is this a _case_?"

Bender sighed dramatically. "Keep up, Claire. I can't be expected to explain everything to you."

Claire looked as though she wanted to punch him in the face. Brian stepped in between them. "Are you sure the file is down there?" he asked Bender.

Bender released another exasperated sigh. "Haven't we already addressed this issue?"

Brian paused and looked back at Claire, who was still fuming. When she saw Brian looking at her, she cocked an eyebrow in challenge. Brian cleared his throat. "Well, I don't…I don't know," he finished lamely.

Brian rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll do all the work." Then he turned and started down the steps. When he reached the bottom, he yanked open the basement door and stepped inside.

The door was opening again before it even had time to close. Bender stumbled out, followed closely by Vernon, who was glaring at him. "What is this, Bender?"

Bender frowned, pretending to be confused. "Sorry, sir, must have gotten lost. You mean this isn't where they're holding drill team try outs?"

But Vernon wasn't listening. He was staring up at the other four, who were still gathered at the top of the stair case. "What the hell is going on here?"

"If I were you, I'd watch your language, sir," Bender warned him. "As a person of significant authority at this institution, it's important that you set a moral example by, both in word and in deed--"

"And if I were you, I'd watch my mouth," Vernon interrupted. "I'll see you in detention on Saturday."

Bender nodded. "Do you want to bring the beers this time, or should I?"

Vernon gave Bender a light shove, and the two of the ascended the staircase. When they reached the top, Vernon pointed to the door leading to the hallway on the other side. "Get back to the cafeteria."

Bender saluted. "See you on Saturday, sir."

"Go!"

Claire grabbed Bender by the sleeve and dragged him out of the stairwell. "You're such an idiot," she muttered as the door closed behind them. "He might have let you go if you hadn't started making fun of him."

Bender shrugged. "Whatever. My way was more fun."

Claire sighed, but didn't press the issue. Everyone started walking down the hallway, except for Allison, who was still staring at the closed door. "Why was Vernon down there?" she asked.

Bender glanced over his shoulder, but kept walking. "It's where he keeps his porn collection," he informed her.

Allison frowned doubtfully and followed them down the hallway. They arrived back at the cafeteria a couple of minutes later to find their table just as they'd left it. Immediately, Andy sat down and picked up his sandwich.

"Well, that wasn't very helpful," said Brian.

Bender shook his head. "Doesn't matter. We'll just have to go down there when no one is in the building."

Brian frowned. "How are we going to do that?"

Bender shrugged and picked up a piece of cantaloupe. "We're gonna have to break into the school."

* * *

A/N: The next chapter is where all the trouble starts, so keep an eye out for the next update. And please review! 


	4. Breaking and Entering

A/N: Okay, so I just watched the movie again, focusing on the scene where Vernon and Carl are downstairs in the basement…and I realized that they aren't even in the basement! See, first Vernon goes down a short flight of stairs and opens a door marked "Basement", which makes a lot of sense, right? But in the next scene when you see Carl walk in, if you look out the door behind him, you see a row of lockers! Vernon very clearly went from the first floor down to the basement, which is on a sub-level. So, I don't know what was up with the lockers, but I'm just going to assume that that's a goof and pretend they weren't there.

And just as a warning, line breaks signify scene/POV changes.

**

* * *

**

Chapter Four: Breaking and Entering

* * *

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Bender rolled his eyes at Claire, who was sitting next to him, dressed in a black silk button-down shirt and a pair of matching black silk trousers. "No one is forcing you to be here," he reminded her.

Claire sighed and brushed an invisible piece of lint from her shirt. It was just after eleven o'clock, and they were sitting in Andy's Bronco in the student parking lot, preparing to go inside. At Bender's request, everyone had dressed in black. Well, Allison was wearing black because she always wore black.

"Did everyone bring a flashlight?" Bender asked, glancing around the vehicle.

Allison shook her head, and Andy did the same. "No," he said wearily. "I forgot."

Bender sighed. "Sporto, how the hell do you think we're going to get around when we get inside if we don't have any lights? Do you have some kind of x-ray vision that we're unaware of?"

Andy turned around in his seat to glare at Bender. "I have a lot of things on my mind right now, Bender. So, excuse me for not remembering to bring a goddamn flashlight on this fucked-up scavenger hunt, alright?"

Bender turned to Brian, who was sitting next to him in the back seat, and shook his head. "I don't know about you, but I'm starting to doubt Andrew's commitment to this mission," he confessed sadly.

Andy cursed under his breath and turned back around in his seat.

Claire looked down at her watch. "Can we _go _already? I have a really low tolerance for sleep deprivation, and if I don't get in bed by midnight--"

"Lemme guess," Bender interrupted. "You'll turn into a pumpkin."

Claire didn't even bother coming up with a response to that. "How are we supposed to get in anyway?" she asked.

Bender pretended to brush off his sleeves. "I took care of that," he assured her mysteriously.

Claire narrowed her eyes. "How?"

"I unlocked one of the windows in Mrs. Jordan's chemistry lab," he said smugly.

Claire rolled her eyes. "Of course you did."

Bender scoffed. "How else were we going to get in? Were you going to pick the lock with your nail file?"

"I can do that," said Allison, looking very pleased with herself.

"Mrs. Jordan's classroom is on the north side of the building," said Brian. "We can go around back and cut through the faculty parking lot."

Andy cut the engine and stuffed his keys into the pocket of his black sweatpants. "Let's just go," he muttered, opening his door.

The five of them poured out of the Bronco and shut the doors. They walked through the student parking lot, where they had parked, and kept close to the building as they made their way around to the back of the school. Once, Claire tripped on a piece of uneven sidewalk, and she had to reach out and grab onto Brian's arm to make sure she didn't fall.

"Are you okay?" he asked, reaching out a hand to steady her.

"You shouldn't have worn high heels," said Bender, who had turned around to see what all the fuss was about.

"What was I supposed to wear?" Claire hissed. "My combat boots?"

Bender shrugged and kept walking. A couple of minutes later, they turned the corner and came up upon a bank of windows gleaming in the moonlight.

"Which one is it?" Andy asked Bender.

"I don't remember," Bender admitted. He walked up to the first window, leaned over the hedge of bushes blocking his way, and tugged on the bottom edge. It didn't budge.

"I think that's Mr. McArthur's classroom," said Brian. "Mrs. Jordan's lab is two doors down."

Bender walked down about twenty feet and tried another window. When that one didn't move either, he moved to the next one. Three windows later, he found what he was looking for.

"Am I good or what?" he asked, pushing the window up so that they had room to climb in.

Andy ducked his head into the classroom, then pulled back out, scanning the faculty parking lot behind him. "Someone needs to stay out here and keep an eye out," he said.

Bender nodded. "Claire can do it."

Claire's eyes grew wide. "Why me?"

Bender pointed to Claire's feet. "How are you gonna climb through that window with those on?"

Claire glanced down at her heels, then back up to Bender. "Fine, but I'm not going to stand out here by myself."

Before anyone else could speak up, Bender said, "I'll stay with you."

Claire rolled her eyes, but didn't protest.

Andy sighed. "Fine, we'll go in. We have three flashlights total, so you two can keep one and we'll keep the others."

Claire nodded and handed her flashlight to Allison. Andy scooted up onto the shallow edge of the windowsill--which was only about three feet off of the ground--and turned around, swinging his legs onto the other side. He leapt from the windowsill, then turned around and held his hands out, motioning for Allison to step forward. He and Brian helped her go through the window, and then Brian went. When he landed safely inside, Brian poked his head out the window.

"You don't think anyone's really going to come, do you?" he asked Bender.

Bender shrugged. "How should I know?"

Brian bit his lip nervously. "Well, what if someone does come? What are you going to do then?"

"We're going to get the hell out of dodge before they catch us, too," Bender deadpanned.

Brian frowned. "That's not funny."

"What's not funny is how fuckin' cold it is out here," Bender responded, rubbing his hands together. "Get in there before I make you trade places with me."

Brian sighed. "Fine."

Andy and Allison were waiting for him out in the hallway. "Everything okay?" Andy asked.

Brian nodded. "Let's just go."

It took them a moment to orient themselves, but after a moment they figured out which way they were supposed to go and started walking down the hallway.

Just before they reached the stairwell leading down to the basement, Allison stopped dead in her tracks. "I think my flashlight is dying," she said, hitting it lightly against palm of her hand.

Brian glanced over in time to see the light flicker a couple of times, then come back on.

"It's probably the battery," said Andy. "Let's just hurry so we can leave before it goes out completely."

Allison sighed, hit it one more time, and nodded.

The basement was definitely a lot creepier at night than it was during the day…or at least, how Brian _imagined_ it would be during the day. There were desks and stacks of chairs pushed against one wall and a row of filing cabinets along the other. A long wooden table divided the room in half.

"Does anyone see a light switch?" Brian asked, sweeping the beam of his flashlight over the wall next to the door.

"No," Andy muttered. "Guess we just have to use the flashlights."

Brian pointed his flashlight at the row of filing cabinets lining the right-hand wall. "Which one do you think it is?" he asked.

Andy stepped forward and squinted at the label on the drawer closest to him, and Brian shifted the flashlight so that he could read it. "State Test Scores, A through L," Andy said. Brian flicked the beam down to the row below it, and Andy bent down. "M through Z."

They were halfway through the first set of cabinets when something loud sounded from the other side of the room. Brian jumped about half a mile into the air, knocking into Andy, who was crouched on the ground, reading a label on the bottom row. Brian pointed his flashlight over to the wall next to the door, where Allison was sitting in front of a large piano covered in a thin layer of dust. "Want me to play something?" she asked, her mouth curling into a sly, toothy grin.

"Uh, no, thanks," said Brian.

Allison jutted her chin out defiantly. "I'm really good."

Brian let out a nervous chuckle. "Maybe some other time?" he asked.

Allison shrugged and stood from the bench, moving over to the table in the center of the room. She started going through a box of books on the floor, tossing the ones she didn't like into a messy pile in front of her.

"Light."

Brian glanced back down at Andy, who was still crouched on the floor. "Sorry," Brian muttered, shining his flashlight onto the next label.

_Clank!_

Brian jumped again, this time landing on Andy's hand, which the jock had pressed against the floor to steady himself. "Ow!" Andy shouted, pulling his hand out from under Brian's shoe.

Brian stepped back and flicked the beam of his flashlight over to where Allison was standing. "What now?" he asked her.

Allison didn't say anything, just held up a six-pack of beer, with two cans missing. She let it dangle from her index finger, eyebrow lifted expectantly.

Brian's eyes went wide. "Where'd you get that?"

Allison rolled her eyes. "I snuck it in under my coat," she said sarcastically.

Brian shook his head. "Did you find it in _here_?"

From below him, Andy let out a sharp chuckle. "Hand 'em over," he told her.

Allison scoffed. "_I_ found them."

"So?" Andy asked, standing up and walking over to the table she was standing next to.

"So, they're _mine_."

Andy lunged for the beers, but Allison was quicker. She swung them just out of his reach and hopped up onto the table, sending books scattering. Andy leaned over her, reaching behind her back and feeling around blindly. Allison smirked and glanced over at Brian. "Want one?"

Brian's mouth dropped open. "Oh, I don't drink. I mean, I've _had _a drink, but I don't drink on, like, a regular basis or anything."

"Why does Brian get to have them, but I don't?" Andy demanded as he swiped once more at the air behind her back.

Allison didn't answer, just reached one hand forward and tickled Andy under his left arm.

"Hey!" Andy shouted, laughing. He tried to grab her arm to make her stop, but she yanked it out of reach. Then she pulled out the beers and tossed them in Brian's direction. Surprised, Brian reached out just in time to catch them before they hit the ground.

"Hey!" Andy exclaimed, turning to glare at her. "That's not fair!"

"Why not?" she asked.

"You're supposed to be on my team," he said, as though this should be obvious.

Allison shrugged and blew her hair out of her eyes.

Brian glanced down at the pack of beers in his hands. "Who do you think they belong to?" he asked them.

Andy shrugged. "Maybe one of the janitors. Or a student."

"Or Vernon," Allison added.

Brian paused. "Where did you find them?"

"In that box," Allison told him, pointing down at the floor next to Andy's feet. Andy moved back to let her jump off of the table, then leaned down to get a better look.

"'Old textbooks'," he read from the side of the box.

"There were a bunch of books on top," Allison added.

Andy scoffed. "So no one would look in there. Whoever did that must think they're really smart," he said sarcastically.

Everyone paused.

"Vernon," they all said at the same time.

"I can't believe he would bring beers to school," said Brian, shaking his head.

"I can," said Allison.

Andy shook his head. "Well, now we know why he was down here during lunch."

Brian looked down at the beers again. "So, should we put them back?"

"Hell, no!" Andy exclaimed, reaching out to take them. "That's a good brand."

"But he's going to know someone was down here," Brian pointed out. "He saw us trying to get into the basement today. He'll know it was us."

"What is he going to do, report us?" Andy asked. "He won't have any proof unless he tells them what went missing."

Brian paused thoughtfully. "Yeah, I guess," he said hesitantly.

Everyone was quiet for a moment. Then Allison said, "I have to pee."

"Take your flashlight with you," said Andy. "We'll keep Brian's down here."

Allison held up her flashlight, which had gone dead sometime during the scuffle over the beers. She flicked the switch a couple of times, but nothing happened.

Andy sighed. "We'll go with you."

* * *

Claire sighed and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "How much longer is this going to take?" she asked.

Bender, who was standing a couple of feet away looking out over the parking lot, shrugged. "I don't know."

"It seems like this is taking a long time," she whined.

"It hasn't even been five minutes."

Claire sighed. "It seems longer."

Bender turned around to face her. "I know a way we can make the time pass," he said suggestively.

Claire glared at him. "We're supposed to be the look outs, remember?"

Bender shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Claire watched him for a moment as his eyes flickered over the parking lot again, scanning the area for unexpected visitors. His lips parted briefly so that he could take in a breath of air, and Claire felt her throat go a bit dry.

"You didn't meet me this morning."

Bender glanced over at her. "I overslept," he said simply.

"I waited for you," she said, her voice carrying equal parts indignation and disappointment.

Bender watched her for a moment. "Nothin' I can do about it now…"

Claire scoffed. "You could say sorry."

"I don't say sorry."

Claire rolled her eyes. "You think I don't know that by now?"

Bender took a step in her direction, slowly closing the distance between them. "Who wears a silk shirt and heels to break into their school?" he asked, reaching out to brush his fingertips over the collar of her shirt.

Claire huffed loudly and batted his hand away. "You said to wear black. This is all I have."

"And since when do you ever listen to anything I say?" he asked, taking another tiny step in her direction.

Claire swallowed deeply, but stood her ground. After a moment, she saw his mouth curl into a satisfied smirk, as if her reaction pleased him somehow.

"Don't look at me that way," she warned him.

Bender ignored her and let his eyes travel down to her throat. "Actually, I was hoping you'd wear that sleeveless shirt…you know, the one with the lace collar."

Claire blinked, confused. "It's forty degrees out here!" she exclaimed.

Bender shrugged.

Claire felt the anger rising up, along with something else. "You pig!"

The side of Bender's mouth turned up slightly, as if he was trying not to smile.

Claire continued glaring at him for a few seconds before she leaned forward and kissed him hard on the mouth.

* * *

"That looks like a duck."

"No, it's supposed to be a wolf."

"That's not a wolf. You have to bend your index finger to the left to do the wolf."

Brian frowned and tried again. "Like this?"

Andy looked from Brian's hand over to the wall in front of them, where the beam from their flashlight had created a large, yellowish circle against the chipped paint. In the middle of the circle was a shadow in the shape of a wolf.

"Yeah, that's it," said Andy. "Can you do a flamingo?"

Brian frowned. "No, I don't think so."

Andy took the flashlight from Brian's hand and pointed it in front of his own fingers. "It's kind of hard," he told him. "Watch what I do with my pinky…"

"That's really cool," said Brian.

"Here, you try," said Andy, passing the flashlight back to him.

Before Brian could do anything, he heard a loud clanging sound coming from the next hallway over. Both boys froze instantly, eyes wide with fear. A few seconds later, they heard footsteps, which grew louder as the seconds passed.

Andy, the first to recover, grabbed the flashlight from Brian's hand and flicked the switch so that the light disappeared. Then he took Brian by the sleeve and pulled him into the girl's restroom.

"Allison!" he whispered.

"What?"

"Don't flush the toilet. There's someone out in the hall."

A few seconds passed, and Allison swung the stall door open. "Who?" she whispered.

Andy shrugged.

"Maybe it's Bender and Claire," said Brian.

Andy paused thoughtfully, then went back to the door. He cracked it open just wide enough to stick his head out. A few seconds later, he ducked back into the restroom and shut the door as quickly as possible.

"Shit!" he hissed.

* * *

A/N: Dun dun dun! Who could it be? Guess you're going to have to wait until next time to find out. In the meantime, review! 


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